Tony's Party

On March 21, my daughters and granddaughter had a surprise 90th birthday party for my husband, their father and grandfather. Tony is still on cloud 9. First of all he was completely surprised. Every day since the party he is marvelling at the number of people who came, the gifts and cards he received and the joy it gave him.
He had been feeling pretty down. (He does suffer with painful arthritis and all its limitations.) He has been spending every day writing thank-you notes. It has given him a new lease on everyday life.
The party went without a hitch. To see his sister, her grown sons, our daughter Margot and granddaughter Andrea, besides the rest of the family was a thrill, not to mention cousins from everywhere. His colleagues from all parts of the USA who couldn't make the party, sent greetings and long letters expressing their appreciation for Tony's influence in their careers and lives, and the importance of the work he did while he was at Varian.
For some reason that I could not at first analyze, I had very mixed emotions before and since the party. I enjoyed myself immensely at the party and the day after
it when most of the out-of-state family came to our house for Sunday brunch.
I kept thinking how great that we celebrated his birthday, but the next time they all get together may be when he is no longer with us, or perhaps when I will no longer be here. It reminded me of our mortality, and who knows what may happen between now and them.
I've been reading a book "A WOMEN OF INDENDENT MEANS". It's the story of Bess Alcott's life. It's not a particularly well-written, or even extremely interesting
story, but it forces the reader to take stock of life, and makes one aware of the importance of accepting oneself and planning for the future. She even wrote her own obituary. I don't think I have the "balls" to do that.
So Tony's party was another signpost in life's journey for him and for me.
It was one of the happiest occasions we will experience.